Forbidden Fruits
by BananaMilknCherrydecaf
Summary: Peace has been restored to the land, but inside the castle, two tormented souls try to fight what they can't deny. Will Merlin and Arthur be able to accept their love for each other despite their situations? Slightly more serious, with fluffy bits
1. Prologue&Chapter1

Hi all :D This is CherryDecaf 3 :)

And I am, (as is BananaMilk), an insane Merlin fan. Unfortunately, BananaMilk will NOT be contributing to this story, because...well...I had to write it, and she's not around me right now :(

So

Look forward to our next story together.  
This is just me xD

Enjoy!

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS BOY LOVE, SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, PLEASE DON'T COMPLAIN AND JUST LEAVE. Thanks :)

'Merlin' is _not_ my creation and all rights go to BBC for creating his magnificent beautiful show :D this is simply a fan story to support the (hopefully) everlasting love of Arthur and Merlin ^^

Enjoy :D and Please _**READ and REVIEW**_

Especially if you like the story~ Thanks!

* * *

**Prologue:**

Merlin's POV

I know that I will never be able to claim him. It is my destiny to stand by the side, to watch and protect him regardless of what either of us wants. I can never step in front of him, nor walk beside him, but always be one step behind, to watch his back. This is my duty.

But why does my heart hurt so much? Why does it grow heavy and twisted when I see him with her?

I don't think I can fight it anymore, but I don't want to let it go.

What should I do?

Arthur's POV

I never noticed how important he was to me until the day he insisted coming with me to the battle with the dragon. God knows what happened, and I could barely remember what happened before I blanked out. But what do I remember, was that aching feeling, that fear that seemed to eat away all my thoughts when I saw Merlin fall off the horse. It wasn't the fear for me or for any of my knights, but for his safety. It wasn't fear for the loss of a manservant, nor was it for the possible loss of a friend. It was as if, if any harm fell on Merlin, everything would fall apart.

I was furious with myself for having let him come.

When we returned, and when sweet Guinevere came to welcome me back, the previous affection I had felt for Merlin and my passion for Guinevere clashed like two forceful waves.

I didn't know then that everything was already changing.

**Chapter 1:**

It was almost customary for Merlin to be late for his duties as a manservant. Every morning, about twenty minutes after the time he should have arrived at Arthur's bed chambers, he would wake up and bolt out of bed, throwing his clothes on as he runs to the door. He'd grab the bowl of breakfast that Gaius had made for him and gulp it down, while the other hand opens the door with magic. He would receive a quick scolding from Gaius, which he cuts short, and dart out of the infirmary. He would run down the corridor, giving several brief greetings to his friends, and dash towards Arthur's chambers. By the time he got inside, Arthur would already be awake, waiting impatiently for him to help him dress for the day.

But since Merlin came back from the battle with the Last Dragon, he had been unable to sleep comfortably. Three days have passed since he first started being punctual for his duties. It was strange, since, every time they came back safe and sound from a danger, he could easily sleep for the next two days, if he didn't get waken up by Gaius. All he could do that night was toss and turn, trying to get the image of Arthur and Guinevere's hug out of his mind. He didn't even understand why it bothered him so much. So his best friend and his liege are in love. It should make him feel happy. And yet, all that filled his mind, was this burning feeling, a feeling of sorrow, but much stronger. It seemed like a mixture of sadness, anger and loneliness. Merlin glanced out the window, watching the clouds float drowsily past the bright shining moon. Through the crack of his wooden door, he could hear the snores of Gaius, breaking the ringing silence of the room. He sighed and turned, rolling his face into the pillow. His tired mind suddenly drifted up a spell that would help him fall asleep, and he whispered it gratefully. But even as the dark corners of his mind grew and enveloped his consciousness, he couldn't erase that one, burning image.

* * *

Arthur's POV.

I don't know whether to accept it as a new habit or to continue being undeniably curious as to why Merlin was arriving on time. Of course, in some ways, it is pleasant to wake up and see his smiling face, greeting him good morning, but it was worrying, especially since I began seeing little differences in his manservant. The strange, mischievous gold in his eye was gone, and there were miniscule dark shadows under his eyes. His smile seems strained, and he always tried to avoid eye contact. This, beyond anything, irritated me to no ends. Every time Merlin looks away from my searching eyes, a stab of pain resounds through my chest and I feel myself tense up and look away.

Nothing had changed when I woke up this morning. My tired, bleary eyes searched for the blessed familiar face that looked out the window with a troubled, far-away look. I coughed quietly to catch his attention. His head immediately whirled into my direction and a smile lighted up his face slightly.

"Morning, you royal prat. You said yesterday that you could get up at whatever time you wanted. It's three minutes past our bet time." His smile turned into a smirk.

"Shut up, Merlin. I woke up exactly at eight, I just didn't open my eyes until three minutes later."

Merlin's eyebrows raised, questioning my sad excuse. "Right. Well, get up. You have a training session with your knights today. You can at least be punctual for that, right?" He turned and walked across the room to grab my armor and clothes. My eyes trailed after him. My logical mind was comparing his body to that of Guinevere's, criticizing every difference, but my heart clearly longed for him, not caring about his gender.

I finally understood a few days ago what it was I felt for this young boy. It was love. Yes, love. It may sound stupid, and many would probably reply with an incredulous look, saying 'but…he's a guy…', but it is undeniable that I feel deep affection for Merlin. The only problem was, however, that I also felt similar affections towards Guinevere, who I had believed myself to be fully in love with before. She, too, had a similar warm smile and an endearing heart. The more logical reason would be to pick Guinevere: she would be a good queen, and, unlike Merlin, could give me an heir. But deep inside, I could tell that I can't let him go either.

I didn't realize that I was sitting up in my bed, looking like an idiot until Merlin courteously pointed it out. I smirked, refusing to get up while Merlin looked increasingly annoyed. It was fun to tease this young boy. His frown turned into a pout when he realized what I was doing. God, it was such a cute pout. His thin eyebrows seemed to clash together, and his cheeks would blow up slightly, but not so much that it would make him look rather strange. His eyes would seem to grow bigger, pleading me to stop. I couldn't deny that look.

Sighing, I got up and walked over to the separator. Merlin followed my footsteps, grabbing the clothes he had discarded on the table and bringing it over to my changing space. I stripped quickly, not wanting to miss any time for my practice. But I was soon distracted as I saw Merlin's red face through the tiny holes of the separator. He was looking away. Again. Irritation spread through me like a wildfire, my hands clenching tightly around my clothes as I pulled it over my head.

_Why? Why does he keep looking away?_ A sudden idea forcefully appeared in my head. I stripped off my shirt again and dropped it onto the ground, disregarding it completely. I quickly changed off my pants and walked out from behind the separator. If I wasn't the great King Arthur, I would be feeling very nervous. I coughed slightly and glanced at Merlin from the corner of my eyes.

"Er…Merlin, I can't seem to find my shirt. Help me get another one will you?" If Merlin's face was red before, then it would now be beetroot. His face had turned into such a dark shade of blush that I feared he would faint any minute.

"Huh? B-But I thought I a-already handed you your shirt…" His eyes still remained on the door on the other side.

"Well, do you see it on me now?" I congratulated myself on this bright idea. Now he had to look.

Merlin gulped and turned his eyes on me. "No." This time, he didn't look away. A somewhat pleasurable feeling went straight up to my head.

"Then get another one for me." Nodding dumbly, he slowly backed out of the room, nearly falling over my bed covers on the ground.

"Right. Okay. I'll be right back." He dashed out of the room.

I smiled slightly. I had gone out with enough women to know that kind of behavior. What seems rather ironic is that Merlin clearly does not know what he is feeling. I sighed and grabbed my shirt from behind the separator. _Better get rid of the evidence_, I thought as I threw the shirt out the window.

* * *

Merlin's POV

_W-W-W-What?!_, I thought as I dashed through the corridors, still holding onto Arthur's armor. My heart was beating so hard, I could hear it through the ribcage. What was going on? It was just another half-naked man. As if I haven't seen enough of those on the training field, when things got too hot for them. And even worse, it was just _Arthur_, an unobservant, spoilt little royal brat. A brat who is also dating Guinevere. That thought send shivers into my boiling heart, but it was soon forgotten. And yet I here I am, acting like some love-sick maiden who had just had a full glimpse at her crush's well-sculptured body. And boy, was it well-sculptured. The muscles were finely defined, but not so much that they would bulge out. His arms were strong and toned, probably from the excessive training he did all day. He does get very serious about training. That was one of his good points, I suppose. That and the fact that he's very loyal. And that he's compassionate. And also, when it boils down to things, he actually listens to everyone's advice. Although it depends on his mood whether or not he accepts them. And he always helps me out, like that time when he tried to help Gaius…

I stopped short in the middle of an empty corridor. What the hell am I doing? Daydreaming about Arthur does not help my situation right now. Whether its night or day, all I can do is think about him. Thoughts about him seemed to be the only thing on my mind. I walked unsteadily to the nearest wall, clutching onto a protruding brick. Am I coming down with something?

"Merlin, are you all right?" I jumped at the familiar voice of Guinevere.

"Oh, um, yeah. Sorry, I just felt a little panicky."

"Yes, you did seem like that. You looked like you were going mad. Not that I'm saying I am, no of course not. You look normal. Well, not right now, but usually. Just like a normal person…"

I couldn't help but smile. "Gwen, I'm fine."

"Oh. Right, I just didn't want you to think people think you're mad. Well, me, at any rate. I'm not saying that everyone else thinks you are though-"

I laughed. "Gwen."

"Oh. Right. How come you're not with Arthur?"

"I…uh…" I grasped desperately for a plausible excuse. "He wanted some privacy to change."

Gwen's smile turned to a confuse frown. "That's odd. I wonder if I should just go then."

My nervous mind stopped and I turned my eyes on her. "Go?"

She smiled abashedly. "Yes. Morgana said that she didn't want 'a love-sick maiden who wants to be with her crush and too worried to tell her liege' in her room. She dismissed me and ordered me to go pay Arthur a visit."

I gulped. The same irritating wildfire I kept feeling in my heart from the previous nights reappeared in my heart, as my mind conjured up disturbing images of them together. Gwen laughing at his jokes. Or him courteously offering his arm to her to take her for a walk . Or him putting his hand on her waist.

"Merlin?" Gwen's worried voice tore apart of the images. Feeling slightly relieved, I smiled.  
"Sorry, just a little tired."

She laughed again. "Yes, you have been sleeping bout twenty minutes less than usual to be on time, haven't you?"

"Yeah," I chuckled uncomfortably.

"Well…I should be going. I'll knock on his door before going in, to make sure he's finished changing." She side-stepped me and started walking towards Arthur's chambers, looking nervous and fidgety.

"Right…" I said quietly, restraining the great urge to stop her and tell her that Arthur wasn't in his room. Just a small lie right?

I sighed and shook my head again, as if hoping to throw the thoughts aside. I turned and picked up the discarded armor bits on the floor. _What to do…_

_

* * *

_

Eheh :D How was it?

Please review so I can improve. For both our benefits xD

Look forward to the next chapter!

-CherryDecaf:)


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey All, CherryDecaf here again :D_

sorry for the long long update :) Preoccupied with tests and everything.

Anyways, it's Easter, I'm enjoying and indulging myself with many things, but not going to disturb any of you guys further.

Enjoy Chapter 2 :)

(I appreciate any comments or polite criticism, so please _**R&R!**_)

**

* * *

Chapter 2**

Arthur's POV

Merlin was taking a ridiculously long time. I had started pacing around the room about five minutes ago. I glanced outside the window. The sun has already risen. I should be down at the grounds already, waiting for and lecturing all the late knights about punctuality. Sighing in frustration, I decided it was high time to look for Merlin and lecture _him_ about the importance of punctuality. I walked over to the door, a long speech forming in my mind. But all words were wiped clean when I opened the door and ran right into Guinevere. My Gwen, who was blushing like mad and smiling brightly.

"G-Good morning, Arthur." Shock halted all my actions and thoughts.

"Good morning, Gwen." I said, surprised. I felt the desire to brush a stray lock of her curly brown hair behind her ear. This feeling clashed uncomfortably with my other desire to hunt down Merlin. "Aren't you supposed to be Morgana?" The confusion in both my mind and heart made me forget my manners.

Gwen's smile slid down as she nervously looked down at the floor. Guilt immediately tackled me. "W-Well, Morgana told me that she didn't want a 'love-sick-" She stopped her sentence and her blush deepened. "I mean, she told me to go see you instead because she doesn't need any help right now."

I chuckled. "I see." She smiled shyly.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." I opened the door wider and stepped to the side.

"I saw Merlin just now." She said as she immediately went to pick up some of my discarded clothes. Her habits as a maid were clearly hard to ignore. "He didn't look that good. He looked as if he was going to faint at any minute. Maybe you should let him off for the day." She stopped again, fear flashing behind her eyes. "Um…I mean…just a little comment. Sorry, I didn't mean to meddle with your decisions." I frowned at her reaction. It didn't make me feel comfortable.

"Gwen, it's all right. I know about it." The image of Merlin's nervous, awkward dash out of my room floated to the surface of my thoughts.

"O-Oh. All right then." Awkward silence hung in the air as she folded up the clothes and put them on a nearby chair. We stood opposite from each other, both blushing and uncomfortable.

"Um, so…" Gwen's face was scarlet red. "I'll go back to attend on Morgana then." She shuffled awkwardly towards the door, when her foot suddenly caught on the carpet floor. She yelped out, her voice coming as a squeak as the floor continued to loom closer to her face. Squinting her eyes shut, she waited for the painful impact and the endless embarrassment.

I darted forward, feeling a sharp pain in my ankle as I caught her by the waist. I winced. "Are you okay?" I asked her, pushing all the pain out of my voice. She opened one of her eyes and immediately pushed herself off me.

"S-Sorry! I really didn't mean to be such a klutz…" her face was red, and, somehow, she seemed really ashamed. "God, I always cause you such trouble…" her eyes began to shine with the unshed tears. Almost immediately, I felt myself tense up and break out in cold sweat. I do _not_ deal well with crying women. Especially since I grew up with one who doesn't cry.

"Ah-Um-uh…" I stuttered as she used her finger to rub at her eye. I suddenly remembered a lesson Morgana had taught me on girls long time ago.

_ "Arthur, remember! When a girl cries what do you do?! You embrace her and kiss her, comfort her and tell her things like "everything will be all right". Remember that!"_

Never once had I thought Morgana's lesson would ever amount to anything. I glanced at the sniffling Guinevere one more time. My heart felt painful, but not in the way it did when Merlin kept avoiding eye contact. It was number, sweeter. I took a deep breath and approached her, wrapping her frame up in my arms. It felt surprising similar to hugging Morgana. Which is good, of course, since it makes things easier for me. I smiled lightly, more confident in my actions now. "It's all right, Gwen, just relax. It's normal for a girl to have to be saved."

Gwen's eyes grew wider and, once again, a blush developed on her rosy face. She smiled through her tears. "Thanks, Arthur." My smile grew wider as I leaned into kiss her. It was a short kiss and, actually, felt a little strange, but comfortable. We broke off pretty quickly, both embarrassed by the new, romantic gesture. She turned to face the door, and I swirled around, looking out the window and walking to the other side, trying to hide my blushing face. After all, it isn't very attractive for a guy to be blushing. Especially not a prince or a king-to-be.

"Um…I think I'll be going now." Her voice was soft, but sounded some what happier. I turned around, nodding, unsure of what to say. I watched as she opened the door and prepared to step, out, then suddenly stumbled back and bent down to pick something. "Oh, I think Merlin came by."

My head jerked up. Merlin? How come he didn't come in? I specifically asked him to get some new clothes to help me dress…The recent romantic gesture popped up in my mind. _Oh no_, I thought as dread past straight through me. I tore out of the room, almost pushing Gwen out of the way, and ran down the corridor. Knowing Merlin, he'd probably go back to Gaius and go back out to the forest near the castle, making up a weak excuse.

I tromped through the corridor, urging myself to go faster. I didn't really know who I was passing, or who I was rudely shoving to the side. I didn't care. I didn't even know why I left Gwen like that just to find him. Both my mind and heart is in a turmoil, and there's no one I could turn for advice. It was like a haze had drifted down and covered all the clear decisions I had made before.

_Merlin, Merlin, Merlin_…

That's right. It doesn't matter what I should be doing. Right now, all I know is that I have to follow him. To find him, and just take him into my arms and force him to look at me, directly eye-to-eye. Suddenly, pain shot up my ankle from before. I bit my lip and forced myself to keep going. If I stopped now, Merlin will go even farther away. And that was one thing I was certain I didn't want.

It was then that I saw Merlin up ahead, walking towards his chamber doors. His shoulders seemed somewhat hunched, and his arms were wrapped around himself. He was leaning against the bricks, looking up to the ceiling with an expression of confusion and pain.

"Merlin!" I shouted out, gasping for air. He nearly jumped and turned around.

"Arthur?"

* * *

Merlin's POV

I didn't mean to see it. I didn't _want _to see it. I walked slowly away, wondering if leaving the clothes at the door were enough. Arthur was definitely going to get mad. My chest burned with pain, both from the lack of oxygen and from the scene just now. It was clear to me now. The reason why I had been so irritated every time someone, _anyone_, had gotten close to Arthur, was because I was in love him.

My face heated up as I acknowledge that fact. I leaned up against the wall, confused and unsure. The coolness of the bricks gave me relief, and allowed me think peacefully for a few moments, until…

"Merlin!" a clear, breathless voice resounded in the corridor.

I started and turned around, utterly shocked. I'd know that voice anywhere.

"Arthur?" I was so overcome with shock that I simply stood there for a moment, before turning and preparing to dash away. Having just realized my feelings for him, I was no where near ready to face him.

"Damn it, Merlin." He swore and reached me in two swift steps, grabbing my wrist and throwing me against the wall. I winced as my head hit a protruding brick, but all pain went out of my head as Arthur slammed his to hands onto the wall, right around my head. "Why do you keep running away?!" Arthur's quiet voice was filled with fury.

"I wasn't really running away," I looked down to the ground. "I just didn't want to disturb you and Gwen." I tried to keep my voice neutral, but somehow, my irritation showed through. I could feel Arthur staring down at me. Nervously, I glanced upwards, trying to see his expression.

But just as I shifted my head slightly upwards, I felt his firm fingers lift my chin up, forcing me to look clearly up to his face. Suddenly, his lips came crashing down on mine.

It was as if his lips were the trigger to the bomb inside me. The heat blossomed in my chest and completely burned away all my worries. I responded hungrily, and I hardly noticed when one of his hands grabbed my wrists and pinned it to the rough wall, scratching it in the process. My knees began to shake, nearly giving way. We stayed like that for several seconds. He was clearly guiding me. I immediately felt the gap of experience between us, but the feeling didn't last longer than a second. As I gasped for breath, Arthur immediately dived into another heated kiss. All my thoughts swirled around like fog, and I could barely feel my legs. I let out a small moan._ If I died right now, I wouldn't even regret it_.

"…Merlin…" It was only a whisper, but in this silent corridor, it sounded like a scream of pain.

I broke the kiss, horror ripping the simple pleasure to shreds. My head slowly turned to the origin of the voice.

"Gwen." The word was wrenched from my throat. Arthur swore quietly under his breath, bringing me back to reality. I swiftly pushed him away with all my remaining strength and took an unsure step towards Guinevere. "Gwen, this isn't what it looks like," I managed to choke out. Tears were pouring from her pouring from her confused chocolate eyes. But when I took another step, she flinched backwards, turned around, and ran down the corridor, her footsteps fading into the silence.

My chest twisted painfully at the sight of my best friend, so hurt and confused, all because of _me_. I bit my lip, ignoring the stinging behind my eyes and tore around to face Arthur, who simply stood there with a blank expression.

"Now look you've done!" I practically screeched.

He immediately snapped back into attention and glared at me. "What have _I_ done?! This was all caused by _you_!"

A choking sound was issued from my throat. "I didn't do anything! This was all caused by you, your extreme sense of irresponsibility and your lack of loyalty!"

Arthur's eyes narrowed considerably, flashing in the light from the torches. "If _you_ weren't ignoring me despite clearly understanding your feelings towards me, I wouldn't have been forced to kiss you. Besides, you kissed me back."

I felt another surge of anger from his arrogant smirk. "I did _not _kiss you back. And I don't have any feelings towards you, except that of great hatred." The words felt all strange coming from my mouth, especially when I knew that none of it was true. But I was too angry to care. Ignoring the flash of pain in his eyes, I turned around and ran down the same path Gwen went.

_Stupid prat!_

_

* * *

_Arthur's POV

I watched as he slipped into the shadows. If it wasn't for the sharp throbbing coming from my ankle, I would have immediately gone after him. Sighing, I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor. _Shit, what a mess_.

It was foolish of me to kiss him so suddenly, especially when I _knew_ that Gwen was coming right behind me. But when I saw his eyes, so full of longing and painful understanding...and somehow, despite knowing all the pain I've caused for Gwen and Merlin, I couldn't regret my decision. That kiss evened everything else. And, despite Merlin's fierce denial, I knew that he truly liked me. All from that little kiss.

I sighed again and stood back up. First things first. I have to head to Morgana's, and apologize to Gwen. Then explain the situation. Hopefully, I'll be able to get a few words out before Morgana bites my head off for hurting her dear Gwen.

**

I opened the door cautiously. "Gana? Are you here?" I stepped into the room.

Almost immediately, a golden cup came flying towards my face. I ducked, my eyes catching sight of a furious Morgana.

"You-" a pillow was thrown this time. "-are the most-" I winced as a necklace hit against my arm. "-foolish, irresponsible-" Another pillow. "-jerk I've ever known!" I couldn't help but feel relieved when I saw that she had run out of ammunition. I glanced behind me. All her possessions now lay on the floor, piled up against the wall.

"Gana, just listen to me for a second-" I was given no such opportunity.

"Did you know, that Gwen just burst in here, crying her heart out?!" she screeched. I winced as her voice tore into my eardrum, not daring to cover my ears. "And did you know who was the cause of all that?!"

"Me," I said impatiently, "but Gana, you have to understand-"

"AND YOU STILL DARE TO COME IN HERE?!" For a second, she looked a lot bigger than usual. I gulped.

"Gana, listen to me" I pressed on. "I love Merlin, not Gwen, and I-"

She stopped, completely stilled. I felt even more nervous now. "…Gana?"

"You…love…Merlin?" I nodded hesitantly. Somehow, I don't feel as confident and determined as I did before. "Merlin?" I nodded again, more impatiently this time.

She raised her eyebrow. "So you just kissed him without any regard to his and Gwen's feelings?"

I opened my mouth, prepared to defend myself, but when no excuses popped up in my mind, I just closed my mouth. She sighed.

"You're so dim." I bit my lip, restraining my urge to retort. "Gwen would have understood if you just _told_ her. Who do you think she is? A selfish prat like you?" Okay, now she was pushing it a little. "And you should have been more considerate of Merlin. If you lose him, it'll be a trouble for us too; we'd have to find another manservant that can actually _stand_ your tempers." _Think of happy thoughts, think of happy thoughts_. "Well, I suppose this is for the best. Just go. I'll explain to Gwen." I looked up, scarcely believing my good luck.

"But I was planning to explain to Gwen myself…" She smiled.

"Just go."

And I went.

* * *

Eheh :)

The satisfication of finishing a chapter

Although I do hate myself for the crappy ending :|

So, please _**REVIEW**_, it will be greatly greatly appreciated :D (And, as I saw before on many many other fanfictions, a happy author writes faster than an unsatisfied one :P)

Look forward to next time 3

-CherryDecaf~


End file.
